Why Llama Rose.

I've always been drawn to things that are random and weird.

On November 24, 2021, my younger sister bought me a Nintendo Switch and the game Animal Crossing. I had no idea what to name my island, but I somehow came up with Llama Rose.

Llamas have always intrigued me. They seem so soft and I respect that one of their defense mechanisms is spitting. Roses have always been prominent in my life. My maternal grandmother grew beautiful roses and my mom has also been able to produce them. She loves them so much that she made my middle name Rose.

I grew up in a small town in Texas with a population of less than 1,500. My graduating class had 40 students and I had been going to school with a majority of them since kindergarten. I learned early on to keep my mouth shut or everyone would know my business by Friday night's football game.

In junior high when I was made fun of because I don't curse, (still don't to this day), I knew that when I realized I was queer at sixteen I had to take that secret to my grave. Being private has always been a priority for me. However, now at age 40, I've realized that people will judge me regardless and I should just do the thing. Which is how the idea of this blog/website started. I've wasted too many years not being authentic.

I'm very much an introvert and writing has always been an outlet for me through the years. When I was younger, it was journaling that really helped, and now as an adult I needed something. However, I still want to keep some of my privacy, which is why this is named Llama Rose and not my actual name.

I'm self-aware enough to realize that for this to work I need to share personal stories. Let someone in and share my non-filtered feelings/thoughts. I also take comfort in the knowledge my therapist shared with me the other week, "If it becomes too overwhelming, you can just delete it."